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Why, Kanye? WHY?

I'm not Katy Perry's biggest fan. I barely suppressed an irritated groan when she kissed a girl and liked it, didn't bat an eyelid when she woke up in Vegas, and found myself neither offended nor excited at the prospect of California girls (strangely).

However, I have to admit I absolutely love E.T. (though I still can't figure out why...) which she has now decided to release as her latest single. That being said, there is one huge problem with the single version as opposed to the album version, and that problem rests squarely with Kanye 'Ultimate Douchebag' West. He has single-handedly ruined what was a benign, nay, stomping pop song (from the depths of an album made of 'meh') with ridiculously awful rap sections that leave me cringing every time I have the misfortune of catching it on the radio.

I don't for one second believe that Mr West knows any bars on Mars, apart from the tasty chocolate bar - known as, for the record, a 'Mars Bar' and not a 'Bar of Mars' or any other incarnation. Nor do I remember Prada making space suits or Kanye West being made a Reverend. Also, what the hell does 'Pockets on Shrek' mean?? Seriously! I NEED TO KNOW.

Okay, so I know it's all lyrical and stuff, and I'm always up for a little creativity, but has he actually forgotten how to write a decent verse? It's always the same from him - his "I'm awesome, I'm rich, even though this doesn't have anything to do with this song" lyrics (see also: Run This Town with Rihanna and Jay-Z for his ruination of that song with similar lyrics) are incredibly tiresome, and I wish he'd return to his glory days of Late Registration already.

Enough with the crap, Kanye. Get back to work!

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July 2011


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